She who is in the Tao can go where she wishes, without danger.
She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.
Music or the smell of good cooking may make people stop and enjoy.
But words that point to the Tao
seem monotonous and without flavor.
When you look for it, there is nothing to see.
When you listen for it, there is nothing to hear.
When you use it, it is inexhaustible.
….lesson 35, Tao Te Ching (trans. Stephen Mitchell )
I love to love
I love to love,
love to be loved.
Holding your hand as
we walk in the misty rain,
not a care in the world.
I love to love, simply.
Why can't we stay inside?
Gazing at one another
as if there is no tomorrow
only this moment, the only moment.
Why can't I let go and be loved?
I want you one more time,
looking back I cried as I just
want to love to love,
love to be loved
loving you, loving me, each breath, the hush
of the simple words,
I love you.
Marion Ann L. Berry
Dear Great Hearted One,
This day we honor and celebrate the women who have given life to us, the women who give life to ideas, the women who died giving life, the women who wanted to have a child, but didn't get to, the women who right now are tilling their fertile soil for new seed, the women who choose not to have a child but have many children, the women who are in captivity, the women who are free, those who were mothered well, and those who had crazy mamas, because any mama that did not love you well, was not well enough, the women who are struggling this moment to care for their babies, and the women who right now snuggle with little ones under feather comforters, for those whose mamas have gone on, and for those who are mamas to be, for women who miscarried precious life, and those who carried many, for single mamas who want their mate, and for married mamas who want to be seen and heard, for those who never got to have a mama hold them, and for those mama's whose children will not speak to, for happy mamas and sad mamas and the Great Mama of all,
and most of all... for all women who need re-mothering, we unite in our love for you and your quest for wholeness, connection, belonging and home.
All women today, we honor. All life today, we celebrate.
RELATIONSHIPS True Love and the Transcendence of Duality
by Kim Eng
(Printed by permission: Eckhart Tolle TV)
During my travels, one of the most frequently asked question is “What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?” Why this question? Perhaps they have the idea or image of an ideal relationship, and want to know more about it. Perhaps their mind wants to project itself to a future time when they, too, will be in an ideal relationship and find themselves through it.
What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?
As long as I have the idea in my head “I have a relationship” or “I am in a relationship,” no matter with whom, I suffer. This I have learnt.
With the concept of “relationship” come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a “relationship” should be like. Then I would try to make reality conform to these concepts. And it never does. And again I suffer. The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating.
How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations.
Recently, I asked Eckhart to say a few words on the ego’s search for “love relationships.” Our conversation quickly went deeper to touch upon some of the most profound aspects of human existence. Here’s what he said:
Eckhart Tolle: " What is conventionally called “love” is an ego strategy to avoid surrender. You are looking to someone to give you that which can only come to you in the state of surrender. The ego uses that person as a substitute to avoid having to surrender. The Spanish language is the most honest in this respect. It uses the same verb, te quiero, for “I love you” and “I want you.” To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change. The ego singles someone out and makes them special. It uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, of “not enough,” of anger and hate, which are closely related. These are facets of an underlying deep seated feeling in human beings that is inseparable from the egoic state.
When the ego singles something out and says “I love” this or that, it’s an unconscious attempt to cover up or remove the deep-seated feelings that always accompany the ego: the discontent, the unhappiness, the sense of insufficiency that is so familiar. For a little while, the illusion actually works. Then inevitably, at some point, the person you singled out, or made special in your eyes, fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate, discontent or unhappiness which all have their origin in that sense of insufficiency and incompleteness. Then, out comes the feeling that was covered up, and it gets projected onto the person that had been singled out and made special - who you thought would ultimately “save you.” Suddenly love turns to hate. The ego doesn’t realize that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside. The ego believes that this person is causing the pain. It doesn’t realize that the pain is the universal feeling of not being connected with the deeper level of your being - not being at one with yourself.
The object of love is interchangeable, as interchangeable as the object of egoic wanting. Some people go through many relationships. They fall in love and out of love many times. They love a person for a while until it doesn’t work anymore, because no person can permanently cover up that pain.
Only surrender can give you what you were looking for in the object of your love. The ego says surrender is not necessary because I love this person. It’s an unconscious process of course. The moment you accept completely what is, something inside you emerges that had been covered up by egoic wanting. It is an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself. When that happens, a completely different kind of love is present which is not subject to love / hate. It doesn’t single out one thing or person as special. It’s absurd to even use the same word for it. Now it can happen that even in a normal love / hate relationship, occasionally, you enter the state of surrender. Temporarily, briefly, it happens: you experience a deeper universal love and a complete acceptance that can sometimes shine through, even in an otherwise egoic relationship. If surrender is not sustained, however, it gets covered up again with the old egoic patterns. So, I’m not saying that the deeper, true love cannot be present occasionally, even in a normal love / hate relationship. But it is rare and usually short-lived.
Whenever you accept what is, something deeper emerges than what is. So, you can be trapped in the most painful dilemma, external or internal, the most painful feelings or situation, and the moment you accept what is, you go beyond it, you transcend it. Even if you feel hatred, the moment you accept that this is what you feel, you transcend it. It may still be there, but suddenly you are at a deeper place where it doesn’t matter that much anymore.
The entire phenomenal universe exists because of the tension between the opposites. Hot and cold, growth and decay, gain and loss, success and failure, the polarities that are part of existence, and of course part of every relationship ".
In my heart I see a light, the light of conscious day
In my heart I see the love, a love that cannot stray
In my heart the song is sung with words of strength and grace
In my heart I let it go, the love, the words, the way
In my soul I feel the truth, the universal call
In my soul I feel the peace of nothing left to long
In my soul the music plays, I’m following the path
In my soul I let it go, the call, the words, the song
In this world I am the song, the soul, the heart, the way
In this world I am the light
The light of conscious day
Attending to What Is
Elizabeth Gilbert has said that human beings possess “the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment.” Isn’t this the infinite search we all employ at one time or another, or even all the time? Our minds are so restless, turbulent and unyielding, continually chasing happiness and contentment. Is there a better way? I’m reminded often, just by day-to-day living, how much better I feel when I spend time in meditation, bringing my monkey-mind with me in acceptance of its ways, and slowly become refocused within rather than “out there” in busy-mind.
While I’ve been away from sitting meditation practice for a few years, I do to check in at various times of the day to ask: Where is my attention right now? So if I’m driving, I become acutely aware of my hands on the wheel, my butt in the driver’s seat and my eyes on the road and periphery. There’s a ton of experience going on. Why not keep attention here? I’m so out of practice that focus doesn’t stay – so I bring it back. Where is my attention? When I’m paying attention, there are no thoughts about what will my workday bring with all the changes happening there or how is our relative who is ill. When I’m at work, then I can be aware of the chaos and when I’m visiting, I will be present with my relative.
By being acutely, perpetually aware of our thoughts we can see that the main cause of unhappiness is not the events that happen but our thoughts about them, which has been said by many a spiritual teacher. Awareness in right-now- this- minute creates the space, clarity and calm to encompass every potential future action. Experiencing stillness within by focusing thought and by doing this – with practice - all the time brings inner peace and serenity. We can all do this. Teachers abound: The Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Sri Ramana Maharshi, Jesus, Mother Meera; and focused mindful traditions point the way: yoga, meditation, dance.
Experiencing peace and serenity I believe is attainable by everyone. Focusing the mind, through inquiry into the self, breath, mantra, ecstatic dance, vision quests, yoga – pick your path – can help us to let things be as they are which in turn allows life to unfold naturally and to have peace, inner knowing and joy – all natural states that have been habitually forgotten. Where is my attention now?